Holley Hyler

A r t i s t

Mercury Retro & Conflicting Realities

September 4, 2017


We are in the final days of this Mercury retrograde season (whew!), and I have found myself getting my wires crossed with someone else multiple times throughout this cosmic event.

Don’t worry – this is not going to be another post reinforcing the idea that Mercury in retro has to be all doom and gloom. I tend to be more curious about astrological events nowadays, wondering how certain aspects could be possible or true in my life. One truth that has occurred to me is that I am always responding from the reality I am experiencing, and this reality does not always match another person’s.

Last week, I went to Starbucks because I had a free drink reward on my card. I assumed that the reward would automatically show for the cashier when she scanned my card. I had a $0 balance on it otherwise, and she asked me if I would like to reload or just pay. I said just pay; in my reality, the reward point had displayed on her screen and she was going to select that as my method of payment. Meanwhile, in her reality, it was not on her screen, so she was expecting me to pay for the drink using another method since I had told her not to reload the card. We were both at a standstill for a few moments before I realized that the card was probably not showing my reward point, and I informed her it was there.

I offer an everyday, yet specific example of our two different realities at play creating confusion for both of us! I had to get on the same page with what she was experiencing to understand that I needed to offer her the information.

I am an easygoing person, but you can imagine how this situation could have gotten out of hand if either of us were prone to quick annoyance. Sadly, these types of scenarios play out between people all the time and rapidly become displays of temper and misunderstanding.

Sometimes we are lucky enough to catch the misconception in its tracks, as I did, and adjust our understanding of reality to be on the same page with someone else, but we do not always become conscious of it before it derails our energy and intention.

For instance, imagine trying to talk to someone when they’ve had a bad day. Maybe this is a person you haven’t seen for a long time, but you previously set plans to meet for coffee. When they see you, they’re in a bad mood because of work, and they don’t seem happy to see you. Your reality becomes that this person no longer likes you, and you wonder what you did to deserve that. You become annoyed and say something in anger to them. Their experience of reality is that they’ve had a bad day and don’t feel very social, but they agree to meet with you because they don’t want to let you down. At some point in the meeting, they sense you’re upset but they don’t know why, and their reality becomes that you aren’t happy to see them or they said something wrong. Unless at least one of you gets to the truth, this could throw a wrench into the friendship for quite some time or even prevent you from talking anymore.

Although these situations occur all the time, Mercury retro is the perfect time to slow down and reconsider where we may not be on the same page as someone else and where our thinking has been faulty.

It is important to respond from the reality that we desire, but this is not easy (for lack of a better word) when we are surrounded by circumstances that are not pleasing. I used to be in the habit of reacting instead of responding, where I would get so caught up in the emotions of the moment that I did not consider the possibility of experiencing something more favorable in the future. Reacting has always caused me a great deal of regret, whereas responding empowers me.  When I respond, I am shaping my life; when I react, I am only acknowledging what already is and unwittingly bringing more of that upon myself. I like to remind myself that my reality is always subject to change, and this helps me to feel better when I am unhappy with what is.

Treat the people you love as if they are new, every day. Allow space for a continually changing human, because that is what we all are! Every day, we discover new desires and new intentions. Are you the same person that you were a year or even a month ago? Many of our problems come from not allowing others the space for their expansion. When we approach someone thinking that they are X when they have become Y, it doesn’t work. It creates yet another conflicting reality.

One Comment

  1. Although funny (and real-life situations aren’t), I’m reminded of two different occurrences from Seinfeld. Once Jimmy is talking to Elaine in the 3rd person, telling her that he likes her, and she thinks he’s telling her that another guy that she’s had her eye on is sweet on her, so she’s flattered. Little does she know..

    And another time, Kramer and Jerry have a light disagreement in Jerry’s apartment, and Kramer says “well, I think one of us should leave,” and then they stand there staring at each other waiting for the other to go while laughter bubbles to a healthy temperature behind them.

    Those work for me especially because we’ve all experienced something in those veins before, and also because TV is manufactured, haha. The sting of having to pay for something that was supposed to be free is all too real though — not cool! My condolences! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

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