A few weeks ago, I performed a full moon ritual. It involved pen and paper, flowers, and a vase filled with water. The idea was to write every month of this year as a header, and underneath each month, write lessons learned or feelings experienced in that month – without filtering, letting it all flow from the heart. At the bottom of the paper, I wrote ten things I was grateful for about myself. I then placed the flowers in the water, honoring each of the ten things about myself as I did so.
The flowers took much longer than usual to begin wilting. I attribute this to the loving energy I infused them and myself with during the ritual. Yesterday, I felt that it was time to get rid of the flowers, but it felt wrong to put them in the trash. The flowers symbolized parts of me that I wanted to honor, so I took them outside to find the perfect spot for them.
My first instinct was to scatter them around a tree I can see from my dining room window. I began to walk toward it, but saw a broken tree a few years behind me. My intuition told me that was perfect, so I placed the flowers in a circle around that tree, on top of the snow.
I do not know why, but this story feels significant.
This morning, I was thinking about the things that have hurt me in the past few years and trying to “figure them out.” This brought me little peace as my mind jumped from one theory to another. Seeking the answers behind the significance, seeking logic, muddles the beauty and causes me to search outside myself.
Yesterday, I did not question my intuition when it told me that it was time to get rid of the flowers, nor did I hesitate when I was guided to where to place them. I did not linger by the tree to lament the flowers or leaving them behind. I wish everything in life were that simple, that guided, that loving with a sense of non-attachment. But then perhaps we would lose the qualities that make us so beautifully human. Attachment has caused me to shed many tears, but it has also been the catalyst to my spiritual awakening, my drive to see the Oneness in all. It has motivated me to become a channel, to use my God-given wisdom in a heart-centered way. In many ways, attachment has been a gift, so I will honor it too.
I have heard many people say they are broken, often referring to heartache caused by a relationship. I admit to feeling broken, myself. However, this is not true; we can still honor our feelings of brokenness while acknowledging our wholeness is present even if we are not currently aware of it. I believe this is why my intuition guided me to the broken tree. There was something about being “broken” that needed to be loved. Not judged, not denied. Just loved.
I wish I had been able to take a photo of my handiwork yesterday, but it was freezing outside, and I was worried about the neighbors eyeing me from the windows and thinking me odd… an assessment that may not be far from the truth, but one I would prefer to avoid, nevertheless.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading my stories. I hope they serve you in some way.