Holley Hyler

Twin Flame Writer

How To Break an Artist’s Heart & How to Love One

February 16, 2018


How to Break an Artist’s Heart

  1. Say nothing.
  2. Pay no attention to the small, meaningful gestures she makes with her life. Leave her in a state of wondering whether you hate everything about her or feel indifferently toward her.
  3. Don’t support her. Don’t buy magazines she’s published in. Don’t buy her paintings. Don’t even express interest in her columns or paintings, if you cannot buy them.
  4. Ask her about her day job. Ask her if she is married. Ask her if she has any kids. But do not ask her about her art.
  5. Say nothing.
  6. When she opens up to you with the honest feelings she normally only expresses with her paintbrush, or a poem, say something mechanical, with no feeling behind it. Say something like, “Good.” “I guess that’s for the best.” “I felt that way once.”
  7. Repeat Step #6 until she can confide in neither human nor canvas for a lengthy period of time.
  8. When she expresses an interest in collaborating with you, make a vague comment like, “It’ll work out some day,” and then forget about it.
  9. Let her fall in love with you. Reject her in a way that still leaves room for her admiration for you. Tell her that you love her; forget that you said it. Become her muse; reject her art by ignoring it all. When she tells you that she wrote something about you, say nothing.
  10. Say nothing.

The effects on this list are magnified x100 if you are family or extremely important to the artist. Effects on the artist may be extreme and include, but are not limited to: lying in the fetal position for several hours, needing multiple Reiki sessions, or passing out on the couch after drinking a whole bottle of Barefoot Pinot Noir and watching The Great Gatsby.

How to Love an Artist

  1. Be genuinely curious about her work.
  2. Ask questions without judging or assuming you know the answers.
  3. Show literally any emotion except indifference.
  4. Invite her to coffee or lunch when she expresses an interest in collaborating with you. Even if it doesn’t eventually work out, your interest will mean a lot.
  5. Let her give you things. Respect that you’re her muse, even if you do not feel the same, or cannot offer anything in return. Treat her heart as a jewel, because it is. She is immortalizing you in her art.
  6. Make her something with your art.
  7. Ask what her tattoo means.
  8. Show her a song that reminds you of her.
  9. Pay attention. This can come in phases or be regular in occurrence – frequency and quantity do not matter so much when your attention is given with care and enthusiasm.
  10. Understand that loving an artist is not that hard. Artists have a high threshold for rejection and pain. Do not call an artist “overly sensitive.”

Please note that the effects of even one or two people loving an artist nullify the effects of one hundred carrying out the steps listed under “How to Break an Artist’s Heart.”

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