Holley Hyler

A r t i s t

Do not look at me to be the Light

April 13, 2018
Holley

Do not look at me to be the Light.
I am drowning in my own darkness today.
I know not how to help you;
I do not want to hold you.

Do not look at me to be the Light.
I am weary, and I do not want you
to inquire after my well-being only because
I am not acting in the usual way
that helps you to feel secure.

Do not expect me to be the Light
because I have been this for you
many times in the past, when you
needed a gentle soul to lean upon.

Do not expect me to be the Light,
for surely you will be disappointed
when I choose not to help you.
Surely you will think me selfish
when I need to tend my own gaping wound.

Do not take my Light for granted.
It does not belong to you.
You can borrow it for a time,
when I am willing.

Do not put my Light upon a pedestal,
for it comes from me, a human.
Humans make mistakes;
humans get hurt, bleed, cry, fly into rages.

Do not ask me if I am okay
when you know I am not,
and you do not wish to hear
the true answer.

I grow tired of telling
bold-faced
lies.

Do not express love toward me
if you are going to take it away
when I show my rawness,
my human side that does
not live up to your expectations.

Perhaps in making this demand,
I may never be loved again.

So be it.

So be it.

So be it.

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