Affirmation Friday: My Vibe is of Utmost Importance

Happy May Day, Everyone!

Affirm: My vibe is of utmost importance. It is the set point from which my manifestations take place.

A lot of people are concerned with keeping a good grasp on “reality,” which in their minds is another word for everything that has disappointed them in life. “I can’t think about this, because if it doesn’t happen, I will be devastated.” “I have to remember that he could never love me.” “I have to prepare for the worst.” We’re concerned with external conditions, more so than internal ones, not realizing that the external is only mirroring the internal.

The flip-side of this is that when we are focused on our internal worlds, we can quickly become disappointed with ourselves for not always being able to maintain a joyful or peaceful vibe. However, this self-criticism does nothing to boost positive momentum, and if we are spending time berating ourselves, we are again not treating our vibe as important. The solution can be as simple as realizing, “This isn’t good for me right now. I’m going to disengage the best I can, and if I can’t do that, I will distract myself to the best of my ability.”

You are important. How you feel is important. I know it’s easy to fall back into habits like scrolling Facebook to see what other people are up to, or read energy forecasts that make us feel anxious about the future. (I’ve unfollowed most of the Tarot readers I used to like, even if I still like them, simply because of how their readings make me feel, or because they draw my awareness to lack.) Be very present with yourself when you do these seemingly small, habitual actions. Observe how they make you feel. If how they make you feel is anything other than at peace or good, you may want to consider cutting them out of your daily routine.

If you would like a personal session to help you with your self-talk or take an intuitive look at what might be holding you back from the life of your dreams, please check out my Services page. Even more content like this is available on my Instagram, which is updated several times per week.

Weekly Tarot Energy Forecast – February 11 – 17

Capture

The Tarot energy of the week is the 3 of Swords, 9 of Wands, and 5 of Pentacles. A triple whammy of healing energy. I feel that this is about how we choose to look at things combined with the difficulty we sometimes face in focusing on our desired outcome.

Your mind will always have some answer as to why something you wanted didn’t work out before and why it still isn’t occurring. A lot of times, we blame ourselves for not being good enough, for not deserving that outcome, for not working hard enough to get it. We can even re-live a singular moment that happened years ago, over and over again, and then that’s the vantage point from which we create. The figure in the 9 of Wands is looking over at that broken heart and keeping a defensive stance. I’ve done this myself and seen others do it — we say that we are over a situation or relationship, but we re-create it daily in other relationships that would otherwise be harmonious. Or we can even take a past version of someone and project it in the present over and over. Wouldn’t you say you’ve changed in the last year or maybe even in the last month? If we continually use the mind and logic to approach problems, we only create more of the same.

The people in the 5 of Pentacles are plodding along in the snow, completely ignoring the sanctuary they pass. How might you have been looking but not seeing? You can completely bypass these unpleasant energies just by maintaining clarity of your vision and training your brain to focus more on love and joy. I’m not saying it’s easy (it can be), but it is necessary if we are to stop growing spiritually through pain and trauma. I feel you are ready for a more joyful way of traveling and growing. You just need to choose it. It’s up to you. I can help you, but no one can choose for you. Stop believing in lack. Lack isn’t real. There is only absence of something from your reality. You 100% have the ability to change that absence of whatever it is you want.

Please comment or contact me if you are interested in a personal reading. You can also directly purchase a reading here.

[Healing Words] I just wanted you to know.

51195236_10218641062723539_600390415996157952_n

Every day, I see a lot of women that I think are prettier than me.

I used to let this crush me. Hell, I still do, but it’s not as destructive as it used to be. I went through an eating disorder in my teens, and as I got older and hungrier, I did the best I could to shut these thoughts out. I avoided and ignored them like they were telemarketers. “I’m not listening,” I said, as I ate the cake. “I can’t hear you,” I thought, as I opened the Pepsi. They came out in my subconscious. The pit of my stomach filled with dread any time I was out with friends and someone said, “Picture time!” Often, after the photo was snapped and shown to everyone, I sneaked away to cry.

I went from hardly eating at all to bingeing alcohol and food, convinced that I was disgusting and would never be any other way, no matter what I did. As I matured more into my spirituality and grew into self-love, I stopped doing these things because I knew they were not good for my health, physical or emotional.

I sucked my thumb as a child, and my two front teeth were all out of position. I had the income to work on this in my mid-twenties, and that is the journey you see me on now. The picture above is the first filter-less, fully facing the camera and smiling picture of me in probably years. It may even be the first one of me like this since I was a child. Even while I have my reservations about the photo, I consider it a success that I posted it.

For most of my life, no one said anything about my teeth, except children. “What happened to your teeth?” Or worse, “What’s wrong with your teeth?” I tried to tell myself that children don’t know any better, but I could never recall a time as a child when I saw someone who looked different and I asked them why. I didn’t question things like that. As a child, I witnessed unconditional acceptance toward me from certain people in my life, and I suppose that’s where I gravitated in my own views of other people and the world. It’s why I have the healing spirit that you see in me today. I am grateful for those people who accepted me and never made me feel like there was something wrong with me. I wonder where I would be without their subtle but infinitely good influence on my life.

Before I reached my teens, I cut my hair. People thought I was a boy. I guess I wanted to disappear, and I felt like cutting my hair would make me more invisible. I’ve noticed that as I’ve gotten older, whenever I go through something emotionally trying, I get that urge to cut my hair again. I get the urge to disappear. I don’t do it, but the desire is still there.

The girls in my school were beautiful. Some of them had long and silky blonde hair, or they were already using makeup and looked like adults. I wasn’t sure how to look like they did. I felt like it wasn’t my place to. I know that sounds strange, but it’s the truth. They were them, and I was me. I didn’t belong. I did what I could to make myself as small as possible.

My sister showed me how to use makeup when I was about fourteen. I enjoyed using it, but I never had the motivation to get good at it or look up makeup tutorials on YouTube. I just didn’t care that much. I never have. I’m not anti-makeup; I’m glad it’s an option. An appreciation for it has been something that also came more with age, but I still don’t care that much. If I don’t feel like wearing it, I don’t.

It’s the same way with exercise. There are some days when I’m angry or sad, and running feels therapeutic. I don’t do it because I need to “keep my figure” or “burn fat.” I do it because I want to. I do it to stop myself from punching walls or hurting myself. Otherwise, I don’t care.

Then there are times that I care too much. I see someone who looks normal and even beautiful in photos. Someone that everyone likes, someone that gets 100+ likes on every photo. Social media can hurt sometimes. It’s not my enemy, but I am learning when I need to log off.

I think a lot of people feel this way. People who more obviously fit today’s standards of beauty, even. Maybe the people who get the most likes on their photos feel it the most – that pressure to continue to fit those standards. Maybe sometimes they want to cut their hair too, or they want to not care as much, or they’re bored when they watch makeup tutorials. But they don’t feel like they can stop, because more people are paying attention to them.

I enjoy being invisible, for the most part. It feels more comfortable than being seen. It’s why I stopped posting so much personal material like this. When I wake up with something like this on my heart, I think it is because sharing it will help someone. I’m processing for the collective.

It’s not often that I say it, that I say, “I’m not as pretty as she is.” I don’t usually express this insecurity in a straightforward manner or a way that makes sense. I think my masculine side is actually much more dominant than my feminine side. My first instinct is to crush these emotions, to pretend they aren’t there. To talk about something, anything, other than this feeling.

I feel it, though.

I feel it deeply.

I just wanted you to know.

[Healing Words] Meeting People Where They Are

julia-caesar-24806-unsplash

Meeting people where they are — what does that mean? It means you take your own ideas and feelings about how someone else is behaving out of the equation, and you factor in how they might be feeling when they take a certain action. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it gives you a lot more clarity when interacting with them. It also gives you the ability to respond rather than react.

As a real-life example, and because we tend to empathize better with animals or children than we do with adult humans, I took my cat to the vet this week. She had a UTI. The doctor gave her a shot of antibiotics. My cat hates going to the vet, as most of them do. I paid her bill while feeling grateful that the problem could be resolved, that the bill was less than I had expected it to be. When I got home with my cat, she gave me the cold shoulder for a while. She was not her usual affectionate self and seemed to want me to leave her alone. If I treated her as we sometimes treat fellow adults, I might have felt annoyed that I went to the trouble and paid money to help her when she didn’t appreciate it. I might have told her she was an ingrate and given her the cold shoulder back. Instead, I gave her extra love and attention, and I told her that I was sorry for putting her through that stress, but I just wanted her to feel better. (For those of you who think I am nuts, I know she understands when I talk to her.)

I could imagine going to the vet from her perspective. I took her to a place that smelled funny, where there were lots of barking dogs and other cats. She had to sit on a cold table while strangers touched and prodded her and said things she didn’t understand. Even worse, they poked her with a sharp needle! That hurt. She just wanted to go home. She wasn’t feeling 100%, but anything was better than what she went through on that table with strange people and animals everywhere. I understood what was probably going through her mind, and I met her on that level with compassion, as I would have wanted to be met if I were in her place.

It’s not as easy to do this with humans. We do not always have visibility into the lives of others. All of us possess the ability to empathize, but for some, that ability is not well-developed. Not all of us can hear the subtext behind what people say. Many of us are too short-sighted or self-focused to see things from different perspectives. The thing to keep in mind is, we never know for certain the inner world of another. We tend to jump to the worst conclusion possible when someone annoys us: they’re lazy, they’re stupid, they’re careless, etc. It is important to break out of that knee-jerk, worst-case response. When someone does something that bothers you, try to imagine the best possible version of that person, and what that version of the person’s reasoning might be. Whether or not this “best version” scenario is true, if you imagine it, you may find a person’s behavior less triggering and formulate a much better, more patient response to them.

We tend to jump to the worst conclusion possible when someone annoys us. It is important to break out of that knee-jerk, worst-case response.

As another example, after my mom passed away, I somehow got it in my head that no one understood my grief and they didn’t care to. That their apparent lack of visible compassion was because they lacked sensitivity and didn’t bother to think about how I was feeling. As a result, I was angry with most people I interacted with. I wanted them to go away and leave me alone, but they didn’t, which only made me angrier. As the months went on, I realized that yes, people can be insensitive, but it is not because they are doing it on purpose or don’t care. They usually have their own stuff going on, or empathy is not their strength. They forgot that I was struggling or just weren’t thinking about that. We all have different spiritual abilities; not everyone needs to be a healer or be able to understand how others feel. That is just how I am, and I am a blessing, as others are blessings with their own unique gifts. No one’s ability should be taken for granted or assumed to be present for everyone.

Now take this example and apply it to the people who piss you off the most. Maybe it’s someone with vastly different political views. Maybe it’s a parent, a friend, a significant other. Take a behavior of theirs that drives you crazy, and notice your knee-jerk explanation for why they act that way. “He doesn’t care.” “She doesn’t listen.” “He’s a terrible person.” “She’s a bitch.” Think back to a time when that person acted loving or generous toward you, or if you can’t recall a time like that, imagine that person as an innocent child. Sometimes children say things and don’t know any better — adults can be the same. People may lack maturity or sensitivity, and while you should still set boundaries with those people, it is not necessary to react to or emotionally invest in everything they say or do. This isn’t so much for their sake as it is for preserving your energy and vibration as you go about your day.

A funny thing happens, too, when you can start seeing all the good potential in a person, even if it feels like you are imagining it at first. If you can come to genuinely see that potential and believe in it, the external reality tends to line up with that. People start showing up for you as these better versions of themselves.

Give it a try! See what happens. I hope this post has been insightful and helpful to you.

February 2019 Reading

51141429_1864930243616684_2109425964264980480_n
Vibe for February  7 of Wands + Knight of Cups + 8 of Wands. We get what we believe or what we notice the most.

There is a sense of being on higher ground or having reached the summit but not realizing it yet. Changing your vibe can feel like a battle at first. Or this could be a literal battle with people or situations around you. I feel like these confrontations are small, but they leave an impression, nonetheless. Confirmations of your improvement may be invisible right now. Do your best to remain un-bothered. Knight of Cups has the right idea. He’s riding away from the battle, drawn toward something or someone that he loves. Then the energy shifts to the 8 of Wands, which is progress.

We get what we believe or notice the most.

It is not spiritual bypassing to choose to focus on what’s working for you. The cup the Knight carries shows that he has a heart and healthy sense of compassion when it’s needed. It’s true that maybe he wears his rose-colored glasses sometimes, but it’s not doing anyone any harm. When our cups are full, we can be of better service to others.

Forgive yourself when you get swept away by your problems, but know that any moment is a chance to start over. You don’t need to wait for tomorrow. Things can change on a dime any second. It all depends on where your energy is focused. Use the breath for clearing and re-routing when your thoughts are going haywire. You’re doing so well and you’ve already made progress. This will become more visible as February progresses.

Personal readings are always available.

Mirror Soul

51650029_687073878361182_4798676988845883392_n

Mirror Soul
A Divine Love Poem

*

After I realized
I was in love with you,
I looked at myself
and my flaws and
my stomach and
my blemishes and
found them unloveable.
Finally it clicked
that every time we
were together, you called
me beautiful; none of these
were ever your doubts.
They were my own.

After I realized
you were in love with me,
I looked at you and
wondered if you were
enough, if you were
a lover whose arms would
feel like home.
I remembered the
last time I hugged you
and never wanted to let go.
These were never my doubts;
they were your own.

*

Please credit me for the poem and link this source post if you intend to share my work. If you enjoy my content, you may wish to consider following me on Instagram or Facebook. Thank you.

Lion’s Gate Message for Twin Flames in Separation

The Spark of the Original LoveThe True Twin Flame Mirrorchanneled by Holley Hyler

 

I received this message yesterday, during the powerful Lion’s Gate energy. It felt like a message from me to my divine masculine, but please interpret as your intuition guides you. If you are drawn to this message, there is a reason. Trust and detach, center yourself, and when you are ready, read further…

Continue reading “Lion’s Gate Message for Twin Flames in Separation”